Kindness: Why So Underrated?

"During my second year of nursing school our professor gave us a quiz.  I breezed through the questions until I read the last one:  'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'  Surely this was a joke.  I had seen the cleaning woman several times, but how would I know her name?  I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.  Before the class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our grade.  'Absolutely,' the professor said.  'In your careers, you will meet many people.  All are significant.  They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello.'  I've never forgotten that lesson.  I also learned her name was Dorothy."  ~Joann C. Jones

When I'm bored, I'll often sit in my comfy bed and google quotes. I won't just breeze through these little quotes, I read them, I absorb them, and I love them. I could do this for hours - and I have! of course, only in my free time - but I came across the quote above and I fell in love with it. I actually have work at 1, so I'm gonna hurry, but it really sums up much of what I believe about life.

I remember, the spring break of my Junior year in high school, I went to England and visited my family. I was staying with my grandparents, and my Grandpa Peter shared a little story with me that I'll never, ever forget. (Honestly, having a conversation with him is like speaking to Socrates or Leonardo Da Vinci- he's a true Renaissance Man, and I love listening to his philosophies on life, love, and the universe.) Anyway, he was joking around with my father (his son) a while before and my Grandpa Peter asked him, "So, Leigh, who is your favorite daughter? Come on, you must have a favorite?" (Referring to me and my sisters - I have an older and a younger one, who are both approximately three years apart from me.)

Apparently, my father responded, "Well, I love all my girls the same, but Eloise is the kindest, and she will be the kindest."

At the time, I didn't really think much of it because I was only 16, but now I think of it as the most amazing compliment anyone could ever give me, or anyone for that matter. It really got me thinking that kindness, compassion, and selflessness are true keys to happiness and content. Letting go of your self and thinking of others before your own desires or wants is authentic, genuine, and true happiness. (Note: I wouldn't learn any of this if it weren't for my father and amazing family who taught it to me!! So, Kudos to them!)

 And the reason I choose to share this story is to show some of my readers that kindness not only benefits others, but yourself. I know it may seem contradictory because, through kindness, you have to, in essence, let go of yourself, but kindness and compassion provides an air of happiness for everyone. Life's too short - so, please, smile at someone today, make a little more of an effort to show you care about people who need a little more love, or even say a nice word to an individual who needs to hear something sweet. The possibilities are endless, but they're never harmful. So, please, live kindly and compassionately with love - it will come back to you in the end. 

That is all :)

Oh, Relationships: Worth It or a Waste?

-Sex and the City

This morning, I had a thought. As a matter of fact, I had several.The trigger of my intense, early-hour session of contemplation stems from a late night conversation I had with an unlikely friend only hours ago. We were, to put it bluntly, discussing relationships pasts, flings, and important people in our lives who’ve really taught us about ourselves, love, and, of course, commitment. It really got me thinking that, although once I’m done with someone I’m done, I really appreciate having these short-lived, relationship experiences. You see, though I’ve been hurt - some would say badly screwed over by certain people (not naming names!) - I couldn’t be more appreciative of the influence they’ve had on me. I’ve learned so much over the years and, one issue I’m very proud to say I’ve overcome, is the fact that I used to like boys who didn’t like me. I was attracted to a challenge, to boys who were, in so many ways, mysterious, “bad,” and intriguingly elusive. 

Okay, I’m not gonna lie- there’s still a little part of me who will always love a bad boy, but there are people out there who have the perfect combination of mystery and good manners. Especially in college, it felt good being the girl who these enigmatic men loved because, foolishly, you think you can change them. News flash: you can’t. You can’t change a guy who is hardwired to want every girl he sees. Though you may be his Number 1, you may not be his only one- big difference. 

I’ve really been hurt by guys who I thought genuinely cared about me. And, though there were “connections,” mutual feelings, and sincere attachments on both ends, all of it’s bullshit if there isn’t full commitment, especially from the guy. I really don’t have a problem committing, and I know this is different for many girls, but in the relationships I’ve personally had (not that I’ve ever been in a super serious one), it was often the male who was weary to commit. This would leave me feeling like I didn’t deserve a guy who would take care of me, treat me the way I deserve to be treated, or even make me feel protected. So, for years, that’s the type of guy I sought.

  I’ve come to discover that the pain really isn’t worth it. I’m not gonna be dumb about relationships anymore, because it’ll just discount all those little scratches, bruises, and band-aids on my heart that have, sadly, accumulated. Life’s too short to be unhappy, and I’m done with boys who think they can walk all over me. I’m done and I refuse to go back to any of them. I'm in a really good place right now, and I don't wanna leave. (I think it's called happiness...)

Anyway, I would often wonder - Who are you to treat human beings like that? Who are you to leave, thinking that I’ll be here when you come back? Who are you to think you can live a life somewhere, and I’ll wait up? I’m finished pondering these questions, so I deserve someone who would never make me feel compelled to ask them. I’ve been through so much in the past 22 years, and relationships are supposed to feel good. We all want the whole package, we deserve happiness, and we deserve joy - at least I know I do...

The Endearing Mindset of an Infatuated Maniac by Eloise Banting

It’s not the first time I’ve been down this road. Physically and figuratively. I’m currently driving down 95, which I venture across quite frequently to get to and from NoVa- Oh NoVa, where do I begin? And, in the proverbial sense, I’ve breezed down this road to see my -- don’t really know what to call it, but a friend I guess...

She annoys the fuck outta me, she’s spoiled as shit, crazy as a god damn rat, bat, and mother fucking banshee, yet I can’t seem to pull away. It’s like, her insanity intrigues me. Okay- I’ll admit, she doesn’t really know I’m coming to see her specifically, but this is the game we play. I love her. I love her more than any girl I’ve ever known and I’ll continue to love her until the day I die. And if I ever tell her, she’ll look me dead in the eye, articulating one of her signature phrases, “You’re such a fucking idiot- get the hell away from me.”

Professing love to a girl like her is like selling your soul to the fucking devil. It gives her power - a magnitude of power that she can and will use to her advantage. Guys don’t even realize she’s making them fall in love with her, one poor heart at a time. (Literally, I’ve seen her turn men into crying little b*tches.) I know what she’s like, so I don’t give her an inch. Funnily enough, I think that’s why she loves me too. 

People judge her. They don’t know about her difficult past, they don’t know why she is the way she is, and they certainly don’t know why she’s such a depressed fucking dumbass. The only reason I call her a dumbass is because, in too many ways, she’s so fucking stupid. She’s beautiful, smart as shit, and almost too fucking talented - to a point where she blows my mind and everyone else’s for that matter, yet she’s been so unhappy, drinks too much(or used to, she’s pretty good now, from what I hear..), spends way too much money on clothes, and she’s slightly socially awkward- completely oblivious to the things she says. 

I don’t judge her though, and I don't enable her, I merely understand her- she doesn’t even know I do but, trust me, I know how her twisted little mind works. I know what’s she’s gonna say before she says it and I know what will trigger her anger, excitement, and, unfortunately, her mouth that won’t shut the hell up. Ever. She talks so fucking much - to the point where I’ve contemplated taking my dirty socks off and sticking them down her annoying little throat. As much as I hate to say it, she’s like a little misbehaved puppy who needs training, discipline, and a guy who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated when she’s good and, especially, when she’s bad. She’s really not what you’d call girlfriend material, and she’s certainly no Little Bo Peep, but she’s the shit and I fucking love her.

Well, here’s my exit...

Bye Bye Blogosphere: Where am I Going?

I've had this blog for quite a while now and, after much reflection, I think it's time to call it quits. Not to worry, I'm still going to write my little rap anthology, as I promised, but I do not have the strength for "The Open Book" like I used to. It's taken such a personal toll and I just cannot do it anymore- Looking back, though I don't believe in "regrets" just learning experiences, there is really so much I would've done differently but, nevertheless, what's done is done and I couldn't be happier with the following the site has acquired. When I first started, I was a little disappointed with the number of page views so I knew I needed to do something a little drastic- so I wrote a little blog post (people who've read me, or secretly read me, from the beginning should know what I'm talking about) which really got it started- though I never went viral, I was getting, at minimum, hundreds of page views per post. Though this attention was awesome, it still had its downfalls- When you put yourself out there, the people who love you make you feel on top of the world, while those who don't make you feel like you shouldn't be alive. To me, it's really not worth it. Also, another facet of any author's writing that I appreciate is honesty. I have to filter myself so much now that it's become a little superficial (I mean, who wants to read about outfits everyday?? I mean, personally, I love it, but it can get a little boring...) and I just can't write like that anymore. (...At least I have a journal that I can put whatever the hell I want in w/o any second guesses- maybe I can publish it one day and make lots of $$...who knows.) In all seriousness though, I'm not famous and I don't even wanna be famous. I can't deal with criticism and I can't deal with negativity. My happiness is just not a sacrifice I'm willing to make. But, to those who love me and to those who hate me, and I say this in all sincerity, thank you for reading :)

Days 20 & 21: What Do You Wear On Your Sick Days?

I'm almost positive that I have the flu, so, naturally, I don't have much room to wear cute outfits for a couple reasons: 1. I don't feel like going out and 2. I don't feel like getting ready... But the above picture consists of Pink Victoria's Secret sweatpants, a white Hanes t-shirt, and my red Ralph Lauren robe, which I've had for years and wear all the time! I love it! 

P.S. What do you wear on your sick days??

Day 19: Would You Like that Shaken or Stirred?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!! Anyway- I was in my comfy pajamas this morning, but I'm about to head to a family friend's house for Christmas dinner. I chose a piece that made me feel like I could conquer the world or, in some senses, like an awesome Bond girl (I can only dream...) Here's what I came up with:

This is my Coraline Romper by Elevenses. It is very sleek made of polyester and acetate lining. It is embellished with a jeweled collar, a tight fitted waist, and a flaired pant.

The belt I paired with the Elevenses piece.

The belt and romper together!

Topped off with a simple tear drop earring!
P.S. What did you wear for Christmas?!!?

Steven Spielberg's "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial": What Does the Film Mean to You?

“True friendship is sitting together in silence and feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.”

A film that has the capacity to capture the hearts of a universal audience is a true rarity. A motion picture that has maintained such a sense of palpable adoration since its release is even more extraordinary, affirming a level of immeasurable magnificence only found in works of true artistry. Steven Spielberg’s “E.T. the Extraterrestrial” embodies these astonishing, artistic elements, arranged with a captivating examination of the human condition, the detriments of ignorance, and the beauty of friendship. Though the latter are broad factors certifying “E.T.” as a work of art, a specific facet of the piece declaring its aesthetic credibility lies in Spielberg’s presentation of spirituality. In this brief investigation, I plan to discuss the themes of spirituality in Steven Spielberg’s “E.T. the Extraterrestrial,” specifically the unintentional inclusion of imagery similar to the most symbolic accounts in the Christian religion.

I understand that I’m not writing an essay for one of my college-level English courses, so I’ll stop being so “intellectual” at this point in the post and get to my point quickly. Basically, I was watching “E.T.” last night- which has since turned into one of my favorite childhood films- and I noticed several biblical references, the most prominent being E.T.’s brief death and his revival moments later. It really got me wondering whether or not Spielberg was metaphorically characterizing E.T. as a Jesus-like figure, comparing the “mothership” to God and E.T. to His otherworldly son. I did some research and, in fact, Spielberg was not intending to arrange a movie loosely based on the life of Jesus Christ. 

Regardless of whether or not “E.T. the Extraterrestrial” is a religious parable, the film is a powerfully spiritual tale, primarily for its depiction of a beautiful friendship. I am not a religious person by any means, and have no issues against people who are, but I do consider myself an enormously spiritual person. I really appreciate the idea that no matter what people or, in this case, creatures look like, no matter their background, or their story, these circumstances are irrelevant in a true friendship between good people. E.T. and Elliott shared a connection to a point that they could literally feel what the other was feeling, know what the other was thinking, and comprehend each other to an incredible degree. In some senses, with my true best friends, and even with my own family, no matter how pissed off I am or how irritated I may get with them, I share such a connection. I know what they think, I know their little tricks, and I understand the people they are.

The film’s success is because of its powerful spiritual foundation. Spielberg was able to reveal, celebrate, and examine one of the most human, transcending, and extraordinary components of mankind, displaying it as a universal experience and, to put it simply, it is what we know and understand as friendship.