A Few Cool Pieces: What Are You Wearing This Thanksgiving?

Okay, so I'm going home tomorrow and I put together some key pieces to make the painful process of packing a little easier. When I'm home, I'll probably make another, more detailed Thanksgiving capsule and share it with you. I still have some of my clothes there, and I'm aiming to travel as lightly as possible, so here's just a little basic list!! Enjoy :-)

Okay, so here's just a dark wash jean. I love dark wash jeans - they can be worn casually or even for a more sophisticated look. Also pictured are two leather jackets - a red one and a black one. I can make so many cool outfits just with these three items!!

I love this dress. It can be paired with so much!! Since it's black and white, it can go with so many different colors. In this particular photo, I'm just pairing it with black tights and heels...

Okay so here's just a pair of black basic pants. I also have shorts - I love pairing shorts with tights or leggings underneath in the winter. I think it's such a cool, hip look.

I bought this at a little boutique in Williamsburg when I first moved here. The shops here are so beautiful, with such wonderfully unique pieces!! Here's one of them and I wear it all the time.

Just some basic, adaptable tops...  Can go with any of the pants I pictured and even the shorts...

Just some scarves...

I love this dress...

Beautiful sequin detailing.

My favorite pea coat. I wear it all the time, and I never want to let it go. I've had it forever.

I promise, this dress is much cuter in person, but I think I'm gonna wear it on Thanksgiving day. The color scheme just reminds me of Thanksgiving :-)

I'm definitely gonna build on these pieces and when I'm back home, in my comfort zone again, I'll definitely provide a more descriptive Thanksgiving capsule. Let me know what you think and, please, share what you're wearing this Thanksgiving!! I'd love to know xx

Martin Scorsese's "Cape Fear" (1991)

What is your definition of fear? From a psychological and cognitive lens, fear is a response to perceived, and often legitimate, environmental threats causing those experiencing the emotion to react defensively, with overt self-protection, and often times  panic. Fear is an innate, inbred emotion that each and every human being on the face of the earth experiences, whether it’s the fear of losing your reputation, the fear of losing a family member, or even the fear of losing something as simple as your MetroCard that has 10 bucks on it so you know you’ll get home okay (that’s actually crossing into the territory of anxiety, but, let’s be real, anxiety is a form of fear...) -- Whatever your definition, we can all agree that, in some ways, fear is a form of self-protection; if we didn’t experience it, many of us would probably be in far worse situations than we are right now.

Well, the definition of fear is acutely dissected by Martin Scorsese in his 1991 film “Cape Fear,” from the minds of people we would stereotypically perceive as fearless, as well as those we would often perceive as a little more fragile or afraid. Specifically, without giving too much away (even though I’m sure there are people reading who have seen it a million times by now...), Robert De Niro’s Max Cady, a rapist who was put behind bars for 14 years for his malicious crimes, stalks the lawyer, Sam Bowden played by Nick Nolte, who defended him in court. Bowden hid critical evidence that would’ve really decreased his client’s time in jail, but, of course, was so disgusted that he did not share it with the judge . As someone who has taken criminal law classes and studied it quite rigorously during my time as a law student (aka paralegal student...), this is a huge no-no. A lawyer, from an ethical perspective, is required to do everything and anything to help his or her client, but one could argue that Bowden was being ethical in this circumstance, simply by getting someone like Bowden off the street. Anyway, I don’t want to turn this into a philosophical ethics discussion, or even a legal one, so I’m gonna put my critic hat back on....

So- my critic hat is back on, and..... This film is a definite masterpiece. The sublime architecture of each scene is truly captivating, especially within the opening sequence and each scene thereafter. The performances are equally as magical, and all of the leading actors rock it with everything they’ve got. However, there are moments in the film that have really tested my fright level, and especially what I am able to stomach or even tolerate, but I think that was the point. It really cultivates a level of fearlessness in us all, even if we are a little shy to proceed to the next gory scene. I’m over it by now, and I’d totally recommend the film to you, so I hope you can handle what it has to offer and take a glance at the movie next time you have the opportunity -- unless you’re too afraid to watch it that is :-)

The 10-A-Day: What Am I Doing?

I <3 New York!!!!! An original photo I took a little after my move....Isn't she lovely?

No, really, what am I doing?? My move to New York City wasn't quite as seamless as I thought it would be (but I'm doing so much better now, promise!!), and the acting jobs I want aren't coming in quite like I thought. Don't get me wrong, there are opportunities everywhere here, but I'm pretty careful about what I wanna put on my resume. I know I need to start from the bottom, and I'm more than willing to do that, I'm just not trying to pose nude for a car wash video set to air on an adult pay-per-view channel after football games this season  ......yeah, offers get like that.

So,  since I'm not getting the work I want, I'm still gonna do the work I want at home. Specifically, I'm gonna do 10 things everyday to help further my career starting......tomorrow. I got this idea off of another site, and I thought it was wonderful!! By doing ten acting-related activities a day, it will turn into about 70 by the end of the week, so think about how much knowledge I'll have gained by the end of the year! What I plan to do is make a list every morning when I wake up of 10 things I can do to fill my brain up with everything and anything acting! Whether it's reading a play, watching a film, or memorizing a monologue, the possibilities are endless! I am sharing my journey with all of you because it gives me a little more incentive to stick with it, and hopefully it inspires some of my readers to jumpstart their own path to success, as well.

So, tune in tomorrow to see what I come up with :-)

(.....just not during the car wash video airing for $3.99 this football season because I definitely won't be in it.)

Thanks!! xxx

"An Overture"

A smooth criminal.

I play Chopin, I play Grieg.

Tchaikovsky is my favorite.

The 1812 Overture specifically. 

Yesterday, the guard walked up during my favorite part. Forgive me, I am not permitted to play anymore, but I always imagine the sounds, the beautiful build up and the mesmerizing, audible constructs united with this story of suspense! A story told through notes; a story told from one ivory key so swiftly to the next to the next to another!

A story told through a crescendo.

You see, I was taught by our Godly man, but he was never my favorite tutor. He was the one who brought us here, I know it! Well, he did not transport us here physically, but he is why we are here! He brought us to this fate! He brought our family to shame! Olga and I were weary of him, but I showed him no fear so neither did she. 

In our happier days, however, we would wake up, bright and early; I would never allow myself to waste a day! Here, though, it is our fate. They force us to waste our days and it is a life worth naught. A day wasted is a day forgotten, and we never know who may steal it from us, for there are many! So many now who will steal it from us!

I would never do that to someone.

I would never, ever do that to someone.

We have done nothing wrong. We have done nothing of damage. We have done nothing of evil! Our Godly man did though, yet I have never lost faith.

But yesterday, I missed the sweet fresh air so badly, I wandered out for a moment. It was my birthday last month, and I turned 17. 

I was given nothing.

A month later I am not allowed to breathe true air for a moment at my leisure? I am 17 years old. 

I am 17 years old.

How sweet it was. How sweet it was! It’s as though my guard knows when I’m happy, he knows! So I hide it from him, but yesterday I simply could not. 

And he shot. His aim was not to kill me, though, it was to scare me. But I show him no fear, and I showed him none yesterday!

None.

I did not run back inside, I walked. The brave walk, we do not run away from a monster. We face it. We do not give them a feeling we do not want to give. They somehow manage to steal it from us though. Yesterday, it was fear he wanted and I would not give it. I would not.

And I will never.

But I walked back in. Not out of fear from him, but from fear of the thought of my family returning and seeing my lifeless body. That, I fear. Not him. Never him. I love my family enough to produce fear for them. Only them.

My family was doing the bidding of our captors -- oh, how I pray for my sweet little Alexei! He is not well, yet they do this to him. I was told to stay back yesterday as I am told the same today -- to stay. My family is not with me, but they are in the quarters. I hope to see them soon! I pray they do not worry for me!

But yesterday, I walked. Walked back into the apartment, the one I share now with my entire family. It consists of two rooms: a living room, and a quaint adjoined bedroom! Our parents sleep there, but my sisters, my brother, and myself sleep on the floor in here! It really is not bad -- we have some sweet little blankets, so I am grateful! But yesterday, I walked back in and sat in the chair by the living room window, not the one at the table, as I usually do. The one at the window has such a graceful view of the little garden, and I just could not help myself. I love that garden so!

But in this living room space, you see, we were given a little raggy carpet, it is actually quite sweet! It sits underneath an oak table, and when I am permitted, I write and I write and I write all my thoughts over it! As I do now! Of course, with the pieces of fine paper and the silver pen I hid in my cloak when they took us from home. I hope that the guards do not find these articles; they are all that give me life now. 

As I sit here now, though, writing, I have learned my lesson. But yesterday, I was sitting in that chair, after I walked back in, the chair in front of our little window! Of course he saw my happiness! A happiness he hates! But I closed my eyes and it is simply wonderful what an imagination can do because, before I knew it, I was sitting in front of my glorious, grand piano -- the one MaMa gave me when I turned 6. And I began to play. 

I began to play Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. My favorite of them all!

I do not need sheet music anymore, but I can see the Treble Clef and my heart, my mind, and my soul lead me to the rest. To the build ups, to the climaxes!

To the crescendos! 

As I hit the first crescendo, I could hear foot steps. But I did not want to stop! I kept my eyes closed! Louder and louder the steps became, and louder and louder my crescendo!

The door was slammed open, and I stopped playing. 

I stopped playing. Nothing ever made me stop playing.

But I stopped.

 It was not out of fear, mind you! It was out of the hope that my family had returned!

But I saw that gruesome, despicable face! The one that looked at me right before he shot! Those were his footsteps!

I was not afraid. I was not. It was the amount of fear I would show our evil Godly man, which is equivalent to none! That is the only reason he was in our lives -- to prepare me for this! But a darkness crept over me. It is natural as you stare evil directly into the face -- as evil creeps over you, you want to fly away, fly so far away!!

I ran under the table. He could see that I was not able to overcome his strength! Not for a moment! He crept over -- with those hideous footsteps! So I ran into the bedroom -- but I had nowhere to fly, to flee! And he struck me! But I have always been strong! May God have mercy on this man’s soul if he did the same to my sweet Alexei!

 And he struck me and pulled me and dragged me to the other room before my sweet little table, and threw me against its wooden molding -- leaving no mark of my body thrown against it, aside from a gash on my forehead and the visible blood stains that have now seeped through the raggy carpet. My last memory of those moments are a blur, but I seem to recall the other guards running in through the outway of the garden immediately after! 

To save me? I know not, for they have all done everything to ruin me! But I woke up to one of them breathing new life into me, my lips against his! I do not know of this procedure, but I learned that it worked as he pumped my chest! And now I am alive again.

Resuscitation. 

I am alive.

He demanded the other guards to clear the area immediately! He turned to me and asked,

“My Ana, my Annie are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?”

I told him that I have never shown fear. I do not today, and I will not tomorrow. 

I am okay, and I will be for eternity. I do not show fear for those who do not deserve my being afraid.

For I am the Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia.

And I survived,

not because I am unafraid,

but because I am fearless.

"The Powerless"

It comes up to me,

That complaint for the day,

Of the flaws they see,

And it’s no other way!

It says I’m a joke,

It won’t let me be free!

That’s when I start to choke,

It’s so threatened by me!

It fucks with me again,

Trying to hold me back!

Only making it worse,

When I turn around and attack!

I don’t know what it is,

But this much is clear,

I know it’s not love,

It’s my freedom they fear!

Each day I just get stronger,

But I’m stifled by the cruel!

I cannot stand it any longer,

You silly fucking fools.

But I understand what they do,

To block my pathway to freedom -

They’re scared of how strong I’ll become,

In my own kingdom!!

They see what’s inside me,

Thoughts burning like the sun -

Yet they make me feel,

Like I’m also a powerless one!

I can’t fucking breathe,

And I’ll be leaving soon too!

I hate that I seethe,

Whenever I think about you.

All the wrongs of me you confess,

You see so much that isn’t true!

All because I’m not among the powerless,

Among the powerless like you.

A Little Lookbook: What Are Your Favorite Spring Basics?

All right, so I recently felt motivated to do a mini-spring lookbook of basics that I plan to wear and build on this season!! I know it isn't very Spring-like right now with all this rain/snow nonsense, but warm weather is right around the corner and I can't wait!! Again, I only took these on my little phone (which is literally nearing the end of its life and I can barely text/call anybody on it..let alone take pictures, so I have no idea how I managed this one.) But I hope you enjoy!!! This is just a little-bitty blueprint, and I plan to make more interesting outfits out of these fairly basic ones!

What favorite spring basics do you have in your wardrobe?!

Let me know! :-)

Okay, so the picture definitely doesn't do this ensemble justice. This is a beautiful ivory slip with the most stunning floral and feminine detailing, and I plan to wear it everyday I can this spring!! Underneath is a sheer, black skirt and matching ..bra. I like the look of a black hue underneath an ivory one, and I think it's definitely a combination I plan to embrace this Spring. Also, you don't get any more basic than this: it's simply just a sheer black skirt, a bra, and an ivory slip. And there are SO many ensembles I could come up with using these little pieces.

I LOVE BRACELETS. Again, since I wanted to keep it simple, I didn't really go as far with my bracelets as I sometimes do (that's a different blog post..), but I just wanted to add a little something :-)

I added a hat!!! I love it.

And a statement earring, on only ONE ear. I think that look is really cool. I've definitely rocked it before, and if you do, just learn to ignore the people that tell you you're missing an earring...

Okay, so I removed the slip adding a sheer, button-down black top! (I tied it at the waist.. again, the quality of this picture really doesn't capture the look the way I would like it too, but hey.) Anyway, white on white is really in this season, so I thought.. what would the opposite look like?! I love both combinations, but I wanted to do something a little different...

Remember how I said I love bracelets? Well, I love rings just as much! (Again, that's a different blog post...)

Just a simple earring! This time on both ears.

Just a closer look at the top.... 

Now with a semi-sheer white top - here it is bunched at the waist...

...here I just let it down.

Replaced the skirt with some white-washed cut-off shorts! See! I told you I liked the white on white combo ... and I think it's really cool in this look. (All jewelry is the same as in previous pics, with the simple earrings in this outfit, but there is SO much I could add and take away to this look and I'm so excited to rock it this spring.)

I added a leather jacket!! I recently got it and now I'm completely obsessed with it....

Isn't this detailing so cool?!

Replaced the cut-off shorts with leather leggings. There is so much I could do with this outfit!! From statement earrings, to colorful heels, to necklaces, and even to a different-colored basic top, the possibilities are endless!! Imagine it with a red top or even an emerald green! 

Okay, so I replaced the leggings with this awesome orange/turquoise skirt, lost the jacket, and rocked an elongated statement necklace -- while tucking the white top in. 

So the moment I saw this dress when I was browsing online I knew that I just had to have it. I fell completely in love with it..

I kept all the same jewelry!! It looks cool, but, when the dress arrived...

It reminded me of how short I am.
In the previous pics I maneuvered the extra fabric to make the piece appear more fitted, but there is so much extra fabric on the back, that I need to get it tailored before I actually rock it when I'm out. This isn't the manufacturer's fault nor is it mine, I'm just too short for it. It's an XS, but it was made for someone about 7 feet taller than me.... ;)

See!! A little tailoring job will do the trick.

Added a sweater to make it a little more casual...

And lost the sweater and all of the jewelry besides my simple earrings, only adding a pair of heels while putting my hair up...to make it more formal.

Okay, so I pulled my sheer black skirt/bra combo again for this look, and placed my favorite slip over the duo. Again, looks way cooler in person, but the sheerness of the top combined with the sheerness of the skirt creates a really smooth yet dynamic look. (Smooth because of the shared sheerness, dynamic because of the completely contrasting hues.) I absolutely adore this slip...

So here's another little outfit that includes it. I paired the slip with an ivory slip and a jean jacket. It's extremely simple, but it definitely serves as a foundation for some really wonderful looks!! I can't wait to come up with more throughout the season!

Okay, so this is just a brief idea of some of the pieces I plan to rock this Spring.
Are there any pieces in your own wardrobe, that are completely different from what's shown here, that you absolutely can't wait to wear this season?!
Let me know and don't be shy :-)
(Also, I didn't include shoes in these pictures because I really wanted to make it THAT basic.. again, that's a different blog post!)

Spring Decor Pt. II: Where Did I Get All of It?!

In my previous blog post I forgot to mention where I purchased all of my stuff/how I put everything together.

I made the canopy over my bed, not really knowing what I was doing. This decorating venture really was THE definition of winging it so I didn't wanna spend too much $$ in case I messed anything up and I held on to all of my receipts like a mad person throughout the process.

I found that the hard part wasn't in finding inexpensive materials to accomplish this redecoration feat, but in putting in the work to make everything look perfect, especially when SO much of it was hanging up the drapery (don't get me wrong, it's the look I wanted!!), but I'm only 5'2'', so that was definitely quite a challenge. And then, when the drapery was finally up, adding the floral detailing and lighting was such a pain in my side.....  Nothing wanted to stay where I told it too, but, luckily, I worked my magic, made it exactly how I wanted, and I couldn't be happier!

 But the canopy is 'home-made,' by me, of a recipe I concocted and I really had NO idea how the result would taste, the ingredients of which consist of three sheets of 3-yd fabric, rope, floral decor, and metal tacks all from Jo-Ann Fabric.  The white luminaries are from Target!!

(I also really thought that the 3yd fabric would be enough for so much of the room, and I could use the extra draping for different decorative arrangements in the space, but, of course, I was very wrong....)

I really played around with it SO much to make it perfect and, yes, I moved all the furniture myself too...really wasn't as bad as I thought and I got quite a work out!!

Anyway, the curtain over my window? $5 from Target, or $4.74 to be exact w/ the Jo-Ann fabric rope and metal tacks....I don't care how I was going to do it, I've always wanted curtains held up by rope in my bedroom and I love it.

Both the throw blankets were around twenty bucks from Target, my Zen lamp....also Target, as well as my dim-able floor lamp and desk lamp. Let me tell you, finding the matching bulbs for these lamps was such a pain... I don't understand lightbulb lingo.... but, fortunately, I knew just enough to get my way around, and I found the right ones!! (I think anyway... I mean, they all work...)

And the green draping in my little cozy corner is also Jo-Ann.

Floral decor in cozy corner- Jo-Ann

Some of the greenery hanging on the green draping - Target ($6 a pop.)

Orange luminaries - Target
The waterfall - $5 from 5 Below

The greenery and floral decor located on my book shelf over the floor lamp all from Jo-Ann...

The sun mirror all of the floral decor attaches itself to is from Target ($20)

The 'curtain' over my desk is also just another piece of fabric from JoAnn...the floral decor, curtain hook, and rope are all JoAnn too.

So, at the end of this pretty daunting task, I discovered that pushing yourself to try and execute a process that you've never quite fulfilled before might be scary, but it's totally worth it!! I can honestly say that I put all of this together myself from the ground up with ZERO assistance, and, because of that, I can't wait to do it again :-)