Every year, everyday for that matter, I’m forced to face and accept certain truths about myself that either kill me, help me, or encourage me to change. I’m sure many of my readers can relate to such a reality, and can even think of a time in which they had to grow up or go home. But, for me, I feel as though I’ve done more growing in the past 5 years than I have in my entire life. The first time anyone has to, forgive me, look at that “man in the mirror” is always the worst, especially because people are demanded to acknowledge the good, the bad, and the ugly about their personalities and, often times, come to discover that they, like all people, are not perfect. Sometimes, people fear accounting for their faults because they are compelled to travel to dark or even morbid places in their mind, and ones that they avoid venturing to out of apprehension for the inevitable personal distress that will likely occur. Though it is frightening, uncomfortable, and unsettling, it is always necessary.
How are we expected to grow and develop if we aren’t willing to change or face truth? The way I look at it, and please bear with me, is by the fact that the only person you can every truly change is yourself, no one else. For example, and this can go several different ways, if there is someone in your life who is consistently providing you with a negative energy, inflicting a pure damper on your own happiness, you do not have the power to change this individual. You do, however, have the authority to alter the way you accept this specific energy by either distancing yourself from it, or even dismissing it altogether, or even by trying to understand why you have been chosen to receive this energy and that you may not be lily-white either. Though this is incredibly difficult, even depressing at times, sometimes it is needed.
Sometimes we need to be strong to make ourselves better in the long run, as awful as it may feel. Sometimes we need to look toward the future, and know that we will not always feel as though our chest has been ripped open by accepting our imperfections. There is always beauty in growth, and we should never feel ashamed to acquaint ourselves with such an experience, with such a blessing in disguise.
Very relevant topic for our generation. This part of our lives like you said is changing at the highest rate it ever has, and possibly will. I remember my first 'look yourself in the mirror moment.' It was the end of my sophomore year and I was in a tough major that I was never really crazy about in the first place. I just didn't want it... I was placed on academic probation, a situation I had never experienced before and entered my 3rd year with a 1.86 gpa..... How I dealt with stress then was to shut down or avoid the problem. Reaching that point though and looking in the mirror, had to make a decision. I had always been on the fast track, now up against the ropes with adversity cornering me in, I had to put my foot down. I walked onto CNU's football team, switched majors, retook some classes - just had a new focus (keyword in this response, focus). I got on a good schedule, football had me working out, practicing, in study hall. The turn around/comeback took the rest of my college career to complete, and so was very painful with the hole I was digging myself out of, but I could feel/see the change and just kept staying the course. I think something that differentiates people is the conviction, being able to apply that focus before seeing/believing - wish I only picked up on it earlier. I graduated, brought my gpa up to a 2.8 - I felt invincible
ReplyDelete... until I came home and it was "okay get a job" time haha but I remembered the pain from before and smiled at the opportunity to one-up adversity again (the beauty of growth)