Kindness: Why So Underrated?

"During my second year of nursing school our professor gave us a quiz.  I breezed through the questions until I read the last one:  'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'  Surely this was a joke.  I had seen the cleaning woman several times, but how would I know her name?  I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.  Before the class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our grade.  'Absolutely,' the professor said.  'In your careers, you will meet many people.  All are significant.  They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello.'  I've never forgotten that lesson.  I also learned her name was Dorothy."  ~Joann C. Jones

When I'm bored, I'll often sit in my comfy bed and google quotes. I won't just breeze through these little quotes, I read them, I absorb them, and I love them. I could do this for hours - and I have! of course, only in my free time - but I came across the quote above and I fell in love with it. I actually have work at 1, so I'm gonna hurry, but it really sums up much of what I believe about life.

I remember, the spring break of my Junior year in high school, I went to England and visited my family. I was staying with my grandparents, and my Grandpa Peter shared a little story with me that I'll never, ever forget. (Honestly, having a conversation with him is like speaking to Socrates or Leonardo Da Vinci- he's a true Renaissance Man, and I love listening to his philosophies on life, love, and the universe.) Anyway, he was joking around with my father (his son) a while before and my Grandpa Peter asked him, "So, Leigh, who is your favorite daughter? Come on, you must have a favorite?" (Referring to me and my sisters - I have an older and a younger one, who are both approximately three years apart from me.)

Apparently, my father responded, "Well, I love all my girls the same, but Eloise is the kindest, and she will be the kindest."

At the time, I didn't really think much of it because I was only 16, but now I think of it as the most amazing compliment anyone could ever give me, or anyone for that matter. It really got me thinking that kindness, compassion, and selflessness are true keys to happiness and content. Letting go of your self and thinking of others before your own desires or wants is authentic, genuine, and true happiness. (Note: I wouldn't learn any of this if it weren't for my father and amazing family who taught it to me!! So, Kudos to them!)

 And the reason I choose to share this story is to show some of my readers that kindness not only benefits others, but yourself. I know it may seem contradictory because, through kindness, you have to, in essence, let go of yourself, but kindness and compassion provides an air of happiness for everyone. Life's too short - so, please, smile at someone today, make a little more of an effort to show you care about people who need a little more love, or even say a nice word to an individual who needs to hear something sweet. The possibilities are endless, but they're never harmful. So, please, live kindly and compassionately with love - it will come back to you in the end. 

That is all :)

Oh, Relationships: Worth It or a Waste?

-Sex and the City

This morning, I had a thought. As a matter of fact, I had several.The trigger of my intense, early-hour session of contemplation stems from a late night conversation I had with an unlikely friend only hours ago. We were, to put it bluntly, discussing relationships pasts, flings, and important people in our lives who’ve really taught us about ourselves, love, and, of course, commitment. It really got me thinking that, although once I’m done with someone I’m done, I really appreciate having these short-lived, relationship experiences. You see, though I’ve been hurt - some would say badly screwed over by certain people (not naming names!) - I couldn’t be more appreciative of the influence they’ve had on me. I’ve learned so much over the years and, one issue I’m very proud to say I’ve overcome, is the fact that I used to like boys who didn’t like me. I was attracted to a challenge, to boys who were, in so many ways, mysterious, “bad,” and intriguingly elusive. 

Okay, I’m not gonna lie- there’s still a little part of me who will always love a bad boy, but there are people out there who have the perfect combination of mystery and good manners. Especially in college, it felt good being the girl who these enigmatic men loved because, foolishly, you think you can change them. News flash: you can’t. You can’t change a guy who is hardwired to want every girl he sees. Though you may be his Number 1, you may not be his only one- big difference. 

I’ve really been hurt by guys who I thought genuinely cared about me. And, though there were “connections,” mutual feelings, and sincere attachments on both ends, all of it’s bullshit if there isn’t full commitment, especially from the guy. I really don’t have a problem committing, and I know this is different for many girls, but in the relationships I’ve personally had (not that I’ve ever been in a super serious one), it was often the male who was weary to commit. This would leave me feeling like I didn’t deserve a guy who would take care of me, treat me the way I deserve to be treated, or even make me feel protected. So, for years, that’s the type of guy I sought.

  I’ve come to discover that the pain really isn’t worth it. I’m not gonna be dumb about relationships anymore, because it’ll just discount all those little scratches, bruises, and band-aids on my heart that have, sadly, accumulated. Life’s too short to be unhappy, and I’m done with boys who think they can walk all over me. I’m done and I refuse to go back to any of them. I'm in a really good place right now, and I don't wanna leave. (I think it's called happiness...)

Anyway, I would often wonder - Who are you to treat human beings like that? Who are you to leave, thinking that I’ll be here when you come back? Who are you to think you can live a life somewhere, and I’ll wait up? I’m finished pondering these questions, so I deserve someone who would never make me feel compelled to ask them. I’ve been through so much in the past 22 years, and relationships are supposed to feel good. We all want the whole package, we deserve happiness, and we deserve joy - at least I know I do...

The Endearing Mindset of an Infatuated Maniac by Eloise Banting

It’s not the first time I’ve been down this road. Physically and figuratively. I’m currently driving down 95, which I venture across quite frequently to get to and from NoVa- Oh NoVa, where do I begin? And, in the proverbial sense, I’ve breezed down this road to see my -- don’t really know what to call it, but a friend I guess...

She annoys the fuck outta me, she’s spoiled as shit, crazy as a god damn rat, bat, and mother fucking banshee, yet I can’t seem to pull away. It’s like, her insanity intrigues me. Okay- I’ll admit, she doesn’t really know I’m coming to see her specifically, but this is the game we play. I love her. I love her more than any girl I’ve ever known and I’ll continue to love her until the day I die. And if I ever tell her, she’ll look me dead in the eye, articulating one of her signature phrases, “You’re such a fucking idiot- get the hell away from me.”

Professing love to a girl like her is like selling your soul to the fucking devil. It gives her power - a magnitude of power that she can and will use to her advantage. Guys don’t even realize she’s making them fall in love with her, one poor heart at a time. (Literally, I’ve seen her turn men into crying little b*tches.) I know what she’s like, so I don’t give her an inch. Funnily enough, I think that’s why she loves me too. 

People judge her. They don’t know about her difficult past, they don’t know why she is the way she is, and they certainly don’t know why she’s such a depressed fucking dumbass. The only reason I call her a dumbass is because, in too many ways, she’s so fucking stupid. She’s beautiful, smart as shit, and almost too fucking talented - to a point where she blows my mind and everyone else’s for that matter, yet she’s been so unhappy, drinks too much(or used to, she’s pretty good now, from what I hear..), spends way too much money on clothes, and she’s slightly socially awkward- completely oblivious to the things she says. 

I don’t judge her though, and I don't enable her, I merely understand her- she doesn’t even know I do but, trust me, I know how her twisted little mind works. I know what’s she’s gonna say before she says it and I know what will trigger her anger, excitement, and, unfortunately, her mouth that won’t shut the hell up. Ever. She talks so fucking much - to the point where I’ve contemplated taking my dirty socks off and sticking them down her annoying little throat. As much as I hate to say it, she’s like a little misbehaved puppy who needs training, discipline, and a guy who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated when she’s good and, especially, when she’s bad. She’s really not what you’d call girlfriend material, and she’s certainly no Little Bo Peep, but she’s the shit and I fucking love her.

Well, here’s my exit...