Day 1: Wanna Join Me On My Britney Journey??

Anyone who knows me knows that I love and adore the performing arts. It is such a great outlet to play someone or be a different character and really tell a story. I've been so busy with work that I haven't been able to focus on my acting career - which is fine as I really LOVE my job!! That said, I need to bring the auditions to me and since I've accrued somewhat of an underground following, I'm going to use this platform to showcase my talents. My latest endeavor? The character of Britney Spears. I really wanna write a script in the same vein of Steve Jobs with three sequences before a big show or moment in her life. This isn't an exposee and I refuse to portray Britney in a way that she would be unhappy with. So I'm really gonna do my research and figure out what makes her tick, the language she utilizes to communicate backstage, and what she does when there is an obstacle to a show or performance. Today marks Day 1 of my Britney journey for a period of 15 weeks. I really wanna get in shape like her and become the character of Britney Spears. So play along and enjoy the ride! Feedback is always welcome.

My Favorite Natalie Wood Performances: Which are Your Favorite??

"Splendour in the Grass" by William Wordsworth

Though Natalie Wood's legacy remains marred in mystery due to the tragic boating accident that took her life on November 28, 1981, her filmography and acting performances set a clear and picturesque view of who she was as a performer and actress. Few can set a bar so high and achieve every expectation cast before them. Even fewer can say that they've starred in a movie with the one and only James Dean, and approximately none other than Natalie can say that they've accomplished the latter while achieving 3 academy award nominations before the age of 25 - besides Jennifer Lawrence, who has only achieved 4 but, of course, never nabbed an impossible role with Jimmy.

Yes, Natalie's reputation is one to be reckoned with, and her iconic stature is only cemented by the true resonance of each and every one of her roles. Whether she's playing a star crossed lover in "West Side Story" or a marginally pseudo swinger in "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice", she nails each position with a sly wit and nuanced realism that only someone with her distinct experience could pull off.  She definitely had a smooth presence, an often bubbly presence, in her work, thus remaining an engaging figure on and off the screen.

Natalie Wood was born Natalia Zacharenko in San Francisco, California on July 20, 1938 to Russian immigrant parents, both of whom were adamant Russian Orthodox Christians. Despite their conservatism, Natalie's mother was very encouraging of her acting pursuits, and often frequented the movies with her daughter to familiarize Natalie with the craft. With no professional training, just experience going to the movies and watching on-screen stars, Natalie skyrocketed to success in her first major role in "Tomorrow is Forever"at the age of 7. The sky was the limit thereafter, repeatedly nabbing roles in family movies like "Miracle on 34th Street"and "The Star", in which she plays Bette Davis' daughter.

Natalie was once quoted as saying "Today's films are so technological that an actor becomes starved for roles that deal with human relationships." This type of cautionary, minuscule angst is probably why almost all, if not all, of Natalie's performances are so layered -- she didn't want to play one-dimensional figures and your hard pressed to find one in her filmography. So, after hours of study, I have finally compiled a list of her best performances. I didn't rank them, I merely placed them in the order of their respective movie's release date. So, here they are...

"Tomorrow is Forever" (1946)

Natalie's Role: Margaret Ludwig

This film saw Natalie's first credited role as Margaret Ludwig. She plays a young girl who is the adopted daughter of Erik (Orson Welles), formerly known as John in his life before World War I, in which he is enlisted for battle. He was believed dead by his wife Elizabeth (Claudette Cobert), but returns 20 years later under his ulterior identity. He then meets Elizabeth upon his return, discovering that he has a son. The film grapples with the mental toll over whether Erik should reveal his true identity, or keep his identity post-war a secret.

And back to Natalie.

Natalie was only 7 years old when she received the role as a war orphan, and, boy, did this require some range. About an hour into the film in a particularly haunting scene, she displays the psyche of a child who has suffered severe post traumatic stress after the murder of her parents by nazis. Additionally, she was able to flee Nazi-occupied Austria by pretending to be the daughter of John, or Erik as he is dubbed at this point and the latter half of the film. Anyway, in this specific scene, Elizabeth is reminded of the gun warfare in the Austrian home from which she was adopted after a toy snapper goes off. These types of scenes can be incredibly tricky, and, in the wrong hands, can come across as a little manipulative and phony. But, in this circumstance, Natalie pulls it off with an emotional knowledge not understood by most little girls. It is very striking to witness and, for me, is one of the most powerful beats of the film. Yes, there is screaming. Yes, there is crying. But Natalie's ability to smoothly access these feelings of intensity is incredible and a major feat for a young 7 year old girl. At one point Erik reminds her that she mustn't forget about her real father and what happened in Austria, to which she responds with a breath so nuanced and in tune with the gravity of the exchange declaring, "I never do forget."

Even more chilling are the moments at the end of the scene through an apology for her reactionary behavior to the snapper, coolly stating with a smile, 

"I'm very sorry I made a disturbance. I apologize"

"Miracle on 34th Street" (1947)

Natalie's Role: Susan Walker

Alright, so. Long story short this movie is about Kris Kringle (Edmund Gwenn) who plays Santa Claus at the annual Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade after the original 'Santa' is deemed too intoxicated to work. Kringle's true identity is up for debate throughout the feature, and is discovered, in the end, that he actually-could-quite-possibly-be the real Santa. Natalie Wood plays a young second-grader, Susan. In this particular film, it is not necessarily the believability of her performance that strikes me, it is in her ability to make us believe. To believe in things real and not-so-real, really giving a new definition to reality and the notions of the plausibility of mythical-like entities.  So, is Santa real?? It's not even a question when it comes to Natalie's performance - one that makes us believe that all things are possible.

Watch how she makes us believe here:

"Rebel Without a Cause" (1955)

Natalie's Role: Judy

Alright anyone who's anyone has heard of or at least seen "Rebel Without a Cause". The film is about a young delinquent Jim Stark (James Dean) and his relationships with fellow troublemakers Plato (Sal Mineo) and Judy (Natalie Wood). Wood's portrayal of Judy is sassy, refined, and totally unique. In a weird way, we all, for a moment, want to be the object of Stark's affections and Natalie Wood gracefully gives us that opportunity. It is certainly one of her finer roles, and one that she was lucky enough to nab before the tragic death of Dean.

"Splendor in the Grass" (1961)

Natalie's Role: Wilma Dean "Deanie" Loomis

There are few cinematic moments that can top the "I'm not spoiled!" scene in "Splendor in the Grass". It is really some of Natalie's finest acting in which she plays Wilma Dean "Deanie" Loomis. I'd love to get into the nitty gritty details of the film, but that can be pretty boring. But, basically, it's about Deanie's relationship with Bud Stamper (Warren Beatty) and the dynamics between his willingness to have sex and her, well, defiance of it. Themes of sexual repression swallow the film whole, and it's like watching the most magnificent, beautiful trainwreck. 

Watch the "I'm not spoiled!" scene here: 

Abbas Kiarostami (1940 - 2016)

I don’t know how many of you are aware, but Japan is historically known for its incredible performing arts scene. From cinema to acting, Japan excels in the realm of the performing arts and its relative arenas. Its prevalent themes of inferiority v. superiority, man v. man, and man v. nature, for example, are incredibly fascinating to watch, especially on the big screen. What’s more fascinating is when a filmmaker from a completely different world attempts to grapple with these ideas and the tenants of Japanese cinema in his or her own work. Not only is this a challenge, it is an undertaking only a master would combat. That’s why when you get an Iranian filmmaker in the form of Abbas Kiarostami, who has performed the task of creating a work of Japanese cinema in Like Someone in Love, you know the news of his death is gonna hit the cinematic community hard.

Abbas Kiarostami was an Iranian filmmaker who was adamant in his refusal to leave Iran when many intellectuals were fleeing due to violence and war. His argument was that he needed to stay as an artistic voice that was hard to find in such stages of turmoil in his country. And, thank God he did, because we wouldn’t have such beautiful pieces of work from him. Additionally, that’s why his work Like Someone in Love remains so fascinating. It is an Iranian piece of work set in Japan, and spoken in Japanese, from, of course, an Iranian filmmaker. Not only did Kiarostami have the task of making this film in Japanese, he had the task of making this film in cinematic Japanese -- two very different things.

Let’s hope the world remembers Abbas Kiarostami for who he was, a genius with a talent so rare and effervescent, that he could transcend the barrier of language with his knowledge of the universal language of cinema. He was able to create a Japanese work as an Iranian - and that takes a deep understanding of what unites us all in cinema. A truly deep understanding.

"Dead in the Water" by Eloise Banting

Natalie Wood

I called for help, 

But nobody heard,

I called for freedom,

There was no word.

Forgiveness I sought - 

For what I didn’t commit.

It was, I thought - 

A crime of such wit.

For if it were,

I’d have earned this punishment!

For if it were,

I’d have earned this abasement!

But she committed no crime,

And she committed no murder.

For such undeserving time,

And nobody heard her!!

For she cried all night,

So loud and clear -

She couldn’t win the fight -

And nobody was near!

She was pushed down a hole,

So deep and wide,

She fell down so hard,

And was buried alive!

No coffin for her,

No ceremonial death.

Like a Vestal Virgin,

And everyone left.

So dumb, so foolish!

Everyone thought of her -

She is not dumb nor foolish,

Simply dead in the water.

Summer Reading: What Are You Reading This July??

 Talk about the laziest Sunday ever. I woke up at noon, sprawled into my cozy little reading corner in my room and opened up a few books (I have a very nasty habit of reading more than one book at a time...), ate some shrimp, and listened to some hyper chill music. Oh yea, I also watched the Poverty, Inc. documentary in bed -- quite an eye-opening piece about the evils of what we have come to know as the poverty industry. To be a bit more specific it’s basically about the detriments of so much foreign aid pouring into localized, third-world communities. Very interesting and I highly recommend!!

Anyway, I wanted this post to be about the books I’ve chosen to read on this lazy little Sunday and why I hope that people will join me in these works’ discussion and analysis!!

Maybe I’m starting a book club..?? Not so sure, but I love to evoke quality, collective discussion and talking about these books is the perfect way!! So, here they are... 

1. White Trash by Nancy Isenberg

This book is about the history of white poverty in America. Initially, I was hesitant to even open this book as I thought it was some type of white propaganda-y piece concocted in the name of caucasian pride. Well, after reading the first few chapters, it is anything but!! Rather than praising or glorifying whiteness, it reiterates the angst within the poor white community in the United States. With incredible research and references, the book is not only insightful, it is informative, brilliant, and well-written. It exquisitely dissects the hierarchy of class within America, explaining everything from a modern and historical context. It dispels every myth about poverty in the United States and White Trash is definitely worth your time, money, and attention!

2.Your Beauty Mark by Dita Von Teese

Now, you wanna know how to become a sex-symbol?? This book has it all, from what to wear on sexy nights out to what perfume scent you should rock on your nights in. It includes exercise, wellness, and diet tips as well as advice on the perfect placement of a beauty mark you’d pencil-in with eyeliner. Referencing starlets from Hollywood’s Golden Age and citing her own influences and creative inspirations, Dita Von Teese wins in this glorious machination of glamour, poise, and erotica.

3. Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich

Now this book hit shelves circa 2001, and it’s quite old, but it still holds relevance today in the quest to end poverty. It details the journalistic endeavor of Barbara Ehrenreich when she poses as a woman living in poverty in the United States. Yes, she goes undercover as a lady living just slightly below the poverty line and recants experiences of survivorship, feelings of worthlessness, and overall despondency. As someone who has had a year-long encounter with poverty, I definitely view this work as a breath of fresh air. She definitely feels the sting of being poor, and recognizes that it is almost an impossibility to lift one’s self out of such a circumstance of destitution once you’ve fallen in. Definitely recommend!!

Poverty: Wanna Know What It's Like?

The first time I ever experienced any semblance of poverty was during my brief residency in New York from 2014-2015. I had never known what it was like to ‘not have money’, and, coming from Northern Virginia, I was consistently surrounded by wealth.  Well, upon arrival in New York, everything started spiraling downward. I noticed the funds in my bank account were depleting, and became desperate for any sort of employment. However, to get to work, or even get to job interviews, required money that I simply didn’t have. I started seeking work that didn’t require any type of transit, but those are few and far between. And, without money, I was unable to afford the basic essentials for life, including food, clothing, and even tampons. It becomes difficult to involve yourself in mainstream society without these necessities, as I quickly learned.

Well, fortunately, for me, after giving it a year in New York, my family came to the rescue and lifted me out of my incredible destitution. For many, however, that type of safety net is non-existent. They have no family or funding to fall back on. Additionally, the psychological toll of having no money is disastrous. I remember having zero willpower or strength to string a simple sentence together whenever I attempted to put a pen to paper or type up any sort of think piece. I became immobile -- mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically, and intellectually. I was so focused on survival that I felt devoting my attentions to any endeavor that I so enjoyed was a waste of my time and, not only that, an impossibility. You see, when you have $15 a week to live on in New York City throughout the majority of the year, it becomes sort of impossible to do anything. To top it off, I went to New York to act, on of my truest passions, and I was beyond devastated that I couldn't pursue this because of my limited means. I felt worthless, confused, idle, and desperate. I became suicidal. I had never experienced such an intense level of depression - I felt as though the world was indifferent to me, so I became indifferent to it. Why weren't people who I felt that I contributed so much time and effort to helping me?? Why wasn't the world hearing my cries? My desperate cries for help?? I became virtually un-hirable, un-socialable, and un-livable. Life was not beautiful for me anymore.

But, through all of this, I couldn't help but notice that it was not just me living this way, I was surrounded by so many living this existence. I guess once you start to live a certain way, you notice who else is living that way too, and much, much more. I had never been so in tune to other's suffering in my entire life. I wondered to myself, why weren't the gentrifiers doing anything to help those around them?? Well, it's because the majority of them weren't living in poverty themselves and, like I said, people see what they are. They didn't see poverty because they couldn't. They weren't living a life in the worry that they didn't have enough money for the Subway, that they wouldn't have enough food to eat that night, day, even week. They didn't know what it was like to not be able to afford something as simple as tampons. And now I can't continue this piece because I'm in tears. True tears. Hope this was the tiniest bit educational.