"Creep"

Miss Creole Prior

Day 1

I hate small spaces, which is odd. My people love small spaces. But the feeling of being so trapped by a mass of conglomerated molecules sucking you in, as only gravity can, will fully consume you, devour you whole and betray each breath you wanna breathe by taking ‘em all away. This misfortune has plagued me my entire life despite finding myself in narrow walkways, oak cupboards, the dreaded vet crate, etc. The list goes on. But tonight, the world is my oyster - no closed space for me, in any shape or form! So I leap through the cat door in my old Brooklyn home to enjoy the wonders of the city! And, speaking of oysters, hoping to find a few behind Extra Fancy on Driggs, I begin my night. The manager always gives me leftovers as long as I stay quiet about Mr. GoldBanks and his new mistress. They’re their together every friday and considering he’s still married with children, any word that got out about them  would be one of the greatest scandals since Shadow had her thirteen kittens without knowing the babies-daddy... But that’s another story.

So I had to go to my usual spot at Fancy’s, in the back - sometimes he’ll have food laid out for me, but... not tonight. I peeped through the window and he was still there. He must have had a rough day and I didn’t really wanna bother him. So I crept over to the other window to see my favorite illicit couple, the mistress was always so nice to me. They saw me through the window and smiled, and the mistress insisted that I sit with them for dinner. I couldn’t resist her bidding, so I decided to enjoy the night with them and try and understand their silly little language, full of elongated verbs, nouns, and drunkenly slurred speech. She seemed really sad. So I sat on her lap to make her feel a little bit better purring to push the pain away.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said.

“Why not?” He asked.

“You’re married with children, and... I’m pregnant.”

Day 2

After the long night of tears and eruptive discussion, I took back home and slept in my wonderful temper pedic for kitties mat! How I love that mat so!! In case you didn’t catch it, my name is Creep, its short for Creole Prior, so I just go by Creep. At any rate, today’s the day I do nothing but wander in and out of the cat flap and do pretty much whatever I want. I’m supposed to meet Shadow for a stroll in the park, but she has a hair appointment and can only go after dark, which I don’t mind. I have built in night vision, so I can see clear as a day.

Well, it’s time for our walk and it keeps getting darker and darker and we hear shots. We notice a young girl, likely heading to her apartment, wallet in hand, and we approach her to speed up her case. The opposite happened and she just wanted to play. No - we were telling her the best thing we could do is walk faster so we started running. She didn’t really get the hint. 

A man came up to her from behind and said “Hand me your wallet miss or I’ll shoot.”

She stood frozen.

And said, “My money’s in my apartment, can I go back and get it?”

He said “No, give me your cell phone.”

The young girl obliged and persuasively begged to go back to her apartment for the money and he permitted.

She got the wallet back in hand but they still had her cell phone!! 

Well, knowing how the NYPD works she probably got it back in no time

(Which she did because it happened to this writer, with those two cats. I believe they were trying to tell me something...)

Day 4

It is in a cat’s inherent nature to creep. They don’t aimlessly wander, unless there’s a specific circumstance in which they are obliged to. Their movements are controlled, motivated, creeps. A creep is a move with intent, with structure, with divinity. It transcends the blocked spaces we so often find ourselves surrounded by, fostering a stream of movement between these formations and rustic developments. There is such an art to it, an art that often goes unrecognized. The term creepy has long since held a negative connotation, but we, in the feline community, have viewed it as a golden term that touches God. To be creepy means to be pure, true, and flexible. And flexible in all its spheres, including within the social, cultural, and physical realms. To use the word creepy to describe a figure who is moderately insidious is a disgrace to its true, Universal name.

Well, tonight, Mistress invited me to a fashion show. They were allowed to bring pets, how could I pass that up?! So we got there and I sat in her lap purring at all of the bright lights and beautiful people. We were watching for what felt like hours and then the grand finale finally hit us, my favorite part. As we watched, all of the models were in perfect formation, besides Kaylee Klass, who tripped because she was too above the notion of creeping. Creeping the way that we do so we always land on our feet, to cut the appropriate corners to remain on our path.

And I always land on my feet.

Thank God the pregnant woman was the designer of the show because she found me with my owner and declared,

“I love the way you creep.”

Always landing on my feet.