Out of all my 21 years on this planet, I still haven’t been able to get this dating thing down. I’ve never been in a real relationship (as I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post) and I’ve certainly never been seriously committed to anyone. Ironically, I am sometimes the ‘go-to-relationship-advice’ girl for friends, so I definitely know a thing or two about this playful courting sport. I’ve witnessed severe heartbreaks and pure moments of potential-marriage bliss. I’m just a great observer, that’s all. I see what my friends and sisters go through, and I learn from it. Some of you may be thinking: How can she give relationship advice when’s she’s never been in an authentic one herself?
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| "Romeo and Juliet" by Frank Dicksee |
Well, let me tell you in a way you might understand. If you’ve ever seen the Dog Whisperer, the host of the show, Cesar Milan, has such a powerful way with dogs because he studies, interacts, and comprehends their behavior. Similarly, I share a knack for knowing what guys like (and certainly what they don’t!) simply because I’ve witnessed, interacted, and studied the species fairly well. I am not saying, by any means, that I’m that perfect girl who gets whatever guy she wants. On the contrary, sometimes I need advice just as badly as the next girl, but I am confident in the advice that I give to my girlfriends, especially when it comes to getting the guy they want. Believe it or not, it’s true. So let me begin...
When it comes to getting your perfect Valentine confidence is key. At the end of the day if you doubt yourself, guys will doubt you too. They do not care about the new pair of Seven jeans you just bought or the cute top from Urban Outfitters you wanna rock the next day. Believe me, this is how their caveman brain works: I see Girl--Girl look good--I want Girl. Then they’ll go in for the bait. It’s as simple as that. What really turns them off is when you start talking too much about what you ate that day or how ‘fat’ you feel. They couldn’t give two shits and nothing screams “crazy-girl-alert” more. Be confident in your own skin and guys will really respect that, trust me. Be very careful not to tread into the boundary of over-confidence, boys will read that and it is an incredible turn off. Approach these situations with a “humble-confidence,” if that makes any sense, and be modest yet assertive. Let them know you have standards while allowing yourself room to be open to new people.
Also, please respect yourself and know that you do not need the emotional or physical attention of a boy to cement your self worth. No boy wants a girl with a reputation, so be secure enough with yourself to let go of boys who are merely using you. The smart, funny, cute guy you want will see that self-confident quality and will really, really respect that.
Boys love a girl who is not afraid to be herself. If you’re a quiet and shy girl, don’t be embarrassed to be, well, quiet and shy. Same goes for smart girls, don’t be shy about showing off your intellect. Fakes are so easily spotted, and you do not want to be one of them. I think we’ve all seen intelligent girls act dumb, for example, to get the guy they want and there is nothing more aggravating than a smarty pants wearing a ditzy cap. If you are, however, genuinely idiotic, then you’re gonna need more help than I can offer because I don’t know any girl who can’t be somewhat smart without a little effort. If you’re willing to get dressed up, put makeup on, and walk out the door to meet people, you’ve already proven that you can make the effort to open up Time magazine for five minutes and read a little bit about the upcoming presidential election.
Another trait guys can’t resist is independence. There are some guys, however, who still live in the 1930’s doubting all of the great qualities women have to offer. These men simply aren’t worth it. You do not need someone telling you that the only way you’ll survive in this world is by the holding the hand of a man. It’s 2012 now--and girls have come a very long way. Most boys, I’ve noticed, will really admire you for wanting to make a name for yourself on your own terms. On top of that, gold diggers are such turn offs and nobody wants, or respects, a stingy moocher. Why would a guy want you if you’re only after him for his money? This is what gives girls a bad name simultaneously turning boys into commitment-phobes. Don’t use anyone, male or female, for anything and you’ll go farther in life than you think, trust me.
Guys also love an independent girl because they know she will never be one of those ‘Clingy-Cassie’s.’ Admittedly, I’ve had my drunken moments of desperation. As embarrassing as they are, you must learn from them before they become habitual. During these situations, guys don’t see a drunk girl, they don’t see a sober one, they see a desperate one. There are no excuses and please, please, please try to avoid drunk texting, drunk dialing, and drunk talking at all costs. You will regret it. Just be strong enough to walk away from the situation before it all goes down hill.
Alright, last but certainly not least, always be sexy. (I know this may sound a little cheesy but please bear with me.) A girl can be sexy on so many different levels, not just on appearance alone. I would say sexiness is a mixture between a chosen outfit and a classy, unique personality. Please notice how I place emphasis on appearance, because it is important. I’ll be brutally honest, a guy won’t notice you if you don’t care about yourself enough to be noticed. Specifically, if you look like you just rolled out of bed, he’ll think “slob.” (I certainly don’t mean to sound hypocritical because I’m a fairly messy, disorganized person myself, but I do try and dress like I have the cleanest room in Harrisonburg.) Anyway, on the other hand, if you wear a skin tight dress with holes and rips in it, he’ll probably wonder how much you charge. I am not saying that you need to spend thousands on a wardrobe, there are great bargains everywhere, you just need to be aware of the way you present yourself. The clothes you wear, whether you like it or not, are a representation of who you are, and most guys go for the girl who shows herself off in a classy, respectful way. If you need help with style or wardrobe, just look at some of your favorite celebrities for aid. For me, I absolutely love Lauren Conrad’s and Halle Berry’s (random, I know) choice of clothing. I feel like they never go wrong and I have rarely seen them wear an unappealing outfit.
Okay, so I’ve told you all of my secrets. Remember, be a confidently-authentic-sexy-self-respecting-independent-sober girl and you will have boys kissing the ground you walk on. This is so much easier than it sounds. It isn’t as though you need to ‘purchase’ or ‘lease’ these traits, you already have them, even if they’ve become temporarily dormant. Now it’s up to you. There is always that X-factor that I do not have the power to reveal to you in a simple blog post. That is something you have to figure out on your own and you will discover it soon enough. This ‘factor’ is always what makes a girl stand out from the crowd and every girl I know has it, they’re just too afraid to look.
So, on that final note, have a Happy, Happy Valentine’s Day and go find your perfect guy!!
Photo Cred:
http://www.paintinghere.com/uploadpic/Frank%20Dicksee/big/Romeo%20and%20Juliet.jpg
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