'Jane Fonda' by Eloise Banting

Poster of Alfred Hitchcock's Stage Fright (1950)

I dream of doves and diamonds,

I dream so crystal clear,

I dream of colored canaries,

My dreams I do not fear.

Some people get nightmares,

Some people can’t sleep,

Some people feel frightened,

And I don’t make a peep.

But I’ve known a fear worse than fear,

And my nightmares don’t compare.

I’ve known a terror worse than words,

No oxygen when I want air.

I stand up there,

When I prepare,

And not a sound comes out.

I stand up there,

When I know the words,

But I forgot what it’s all about.

I shake and tremble,

My thoughts so chained,

The sound of crippling silence.

I shake and tremble,

My voice so broken,

The ballad of my lost vibrance!

You ask what I speak of?

You would like to understand,

The cause of this terrible sight?

You ask what I felt?

You ask what it was?

It was numbingly numb stage fright!!

It creeps up slowly,

It creeps up creepy,

Like Krueger in your dreams.

It lurks up behind you,

It tip toes forward,

So crafty with its schemes!

I’ve spoken in front of hundreds,

I’ve read speeches to my peers.

I’ve performed in front of playwrights,

I’ve even moved many to tears.

But in front of that group of ten -

I stand paralyzed in shock.

In front of that troupe of faces,

All of my thoughts are blocked.

I wanted to go and flee,

And I wanted to be sedated.

I wanted to leave and cry, 

I just felt so fucking deflated.

So I ran away in thought,

And laid on the quad grass,

But I found no solace in self-pity,

So I made a mission to rock it next class.

You see,

I felt this fear for over a year,

And silenced a passion so true.

But I discovered a way,

From what I felt that day,

To channel these feelings anew!

My nerves will never go,

And this is a true fact,

My nerves will never vanish,

A notion so sincerely exact!

But on that day - 

I stumbled on gold,

Still fresh in its purest form!

The greatest gift - one so priceless,

I always use now when I perform!

I found a gift wrapped up in nerves,

It was a sensitivity so heightened.

I now see and I now realize - 

There was no need to for me to be frightened!

It was a part of me just trying to help,

And deliver with emotion. 

It is a power so deep,

It is a power to keep,

Vaster than a glimmering ocean!

It was an unfamiliar feeling, 

My consciousness went dual.

It felt so scary - it felt insane!

But now I think it’s pretty damn cool.

I can switch it on!

I can switch it off!

And express what my character is feeling.

I can take the audience on a ride,

And discover thoughts my puppet’s concealing!

So there is no need,

For me to be,

Afraid of the spotlight.

There is no need,

For me to be,

Afraid of a little stage fright!

It is a gift so real - it is a gift so bright,

And I hope you learned from me,

That my self preservation, 

Leads to my dramatic vacation,

And a show you’d wanna see!

Though we all have a different calling,

And we are all truly unique,

We should find our melody, 

That inner voice!

To hone a gift when we feel weak!

So find the sparkle in your symphony,

And perform your best each day,

Whether your talent is in the office,

Or a pleasingly pleasant play!