Couples: What Keeps Em Interesting??

The Triangular Theory of Love by Robert Sternberg

I just read an article about passionate love (Please click to read here!!) and I thought the piece was really interesting. (I've secretly been addicted to articles/books/other literature revolving around relationship issues since college..) But I liked/agreed with many of the points in this article, but I don't really agree with the writer's notion that a lack of passion in older relationships, meaning empty nesters, those who've been with each other for decades,etc., is nothing to "bemoan," or worry about. (there are 3 components to the theory of love: passion, commitment, and companionship.) Of course the high of love may diminish over time, but that's just because companionship naturally takes over- but I think that's where commitment should also come into play, because the couple should be devoted to keeping it healthy, wonderful, and, of course, passionate. We're supposed to workout everyday, brush our teeth, and take showers - why can't we put the same effort into a marriage, just by doing simple things to ensure that passion, companionship, and commitment never fade as much as it potentially could?

In my view of it, commitment isn't just about remaining faithful to a lifelong partner(even though that is a key, integral aspect of it.. I know there are people out there who support open marriages, I'm definitely not one of them **though I'm not judging those who think it's okay**. To me, as I said, part of commitment definitely means that there's no one else in the picture besides your significant other.) However, I also think commitment, as stated in the article, is being committed to 'maintaining the relationship.' If this is so, even though the author of the piece makes excellent points on the subject, in my view of passionate love and the maintenance of it, commitment is key, because it means that the couple are committed to maintaining passion and companionship, not just faithfulness and honesty. A couple, I believe, should make the effort to keep a share of all three in a relationship every single day - though they may not keep them in equal shares day by day, all three components are still present in the relationship all the time.

It breaks my heart, especially with couples who've been together for so long, to see the passion fade. And I don't know if it's because the media or younger generations have deemed the physical and emotional desire between an 'older' couple a little taboo to talk about, but I definitely think passion could only grow stronger throughout the years. Say it's diminished in it's first two years of you being together, it's just because at a beginning point in a relationship you don't really have to work at it - but, once you notice it 'fading,' think how strong the passion could be between a couple once it's really worked at. Once there is a mutual commitment to protecting and preserving that initial desire, I think a couple could be unstoppable. So, basically, I really believe, even though I said commitment is a huge part of maintaining passion - that passion is the first and foremost need to take care of in any romantic relationship, coming above companionship and commitment (even though these qualities must always be there in an awesome, monogamous, passionate relationship). 

So, what do you think?? What components of a relationship do you think keep at alive?? I would love to know, because, after all, I'm not a PhD in this field, this is just my humble opinion, and the thoughts of others could be really eye opening!