The Thrill of the Chase: Why So Essential in Relationships?

"The Siren"
by John William Waterhouse
(c. 1900)
Sirens had mad game...

“Man is the hunter; woman is his game. The sleek and shining creatures of the chase, we hunt them for the beauty of their skins; they love us for it, and we ride them down.” 

-Alfred, Lord Tennyson

I had lunch with a co-worker today and we were both discussing the importance, wait - let me rephrase, the necessity of the chase in the dating game. I’m not gonna lie, I’m really attracted to masculinity. Though I’m a little feminine (wait, let’s be real) - Though I’m likely the girliest girly girl you’ll ever meet, there’s nothing more exciting to me than a big strong guy who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to get it. I love guys - and I feel so blessed, as a female, that I’m able to really appreciate them for everything they bring to the table. I love a guy I can really hold onto, especially one who makes me feel protected, appreciated, and cherished. Also, and I realize I’m about to sound incredibly girly and I can literally feel the collective eye rolls from some of my male readers, but I love a guy who treats me like a princess. There. I said it.  And if there’s anything wrong with that, then I don’t know what to tell you because that’s genuinely the way I feel and I can’t help it. I’ve always felt this way, and, believe it or not, I was the stereotypical little girl who would dream about my future wedding dress, my Prince Charming, and my fairytale happy ending. To a certain degree, maybe some of my thoughts toward the opposite sex has unconsciously been engrained in me since I was born through society, the media, and our culture, but I’ve already been corrupted and this is how I’m wired so get over it...

Anyway, so what I really wanted to touch on in this post is the significance of the chase in any relationship. No matter your sexual orientation, I’m sure we all desire someone who is a little more mysterious, a little more of a challenge, and a little more dangerous than most. We want someone who is different, someone who sets themselves apart from the crowd, especially from our pool of potential suitors. Just from my own experience in relationships, and when I find a guy actually like, I become incredibly awkward. Don’t get me wrong, I have so many great guy friends and I have no problems going up to the opposite sex, being myself, and talking to boys- but, when feelings get involved, I just turn into a complete weirdo. So, the advice I would like to share with you (especially to my female readers, since that’s who I really give the best advice to because, after all, I am one...) is advice I wish someone imparted on me at so many points in my love life, and even though I’ve heard it so, so many times, let the guy chase you. 

When you initially start dating someone, it is all about the chase. Don’t be afraid to let a guy miss you, don’t be afraid to blow him off, and don’t be afraid to have your own life. Another piece of advice I’ll offer, and I don’t mean to offend anyone, is don’t have sex until you’re 1,000% positive that you’ll be in a relationship with this person, especially if it’s someone you like. Of course, we all have those lustful feelings, it’s natural, and I know it can be difficult, because you may think you want it just as badly as he does. New Flash: You’re a girl. You never want it as badly as a guy does. We’re blessed with that attribute, and don’t be afraid to use it.

So now you know that you need to let the guy come after you, show less availability, and be a little more prudent, you must always, always, always leave things to his imagination. Imagination is everything. I’ll admit, even though I’m not perfect when it comes to relationships, one thing I’m really good at is enticing a guy’s imagination. I’ve said this before, the sexiest girl is not the one whose everyday style consists of barely-there clothing (it’s only okay during Halloween, concerts, etc.), but the one who shows off her body in a more covert, tasteful, and classy way - and especially one whose personality correlates with the covert, tasteful, and classy clothes she wears. Like I said, guys want it more than we do and girls have the power to play with that fatal, male flaw. Don’t be afraid to tease him a little bit with the energy you exude. I’m telling you, a guy will remember you and he won’t even realize he does when you toy with his imagination. Then he’ll definitely want to chase you.

So, I’ve provided some helpful tools to allow the thrill of the dating chase to be a little more, well, thrilling. Don’t be so available, don’t have sex, be classy, and have fun teasing a guy’s imagination. If a girl adopts the latter qualities, she will have guys begging at her feet, and, more importantly, the guy she actually wants.