The Age of Anxiety: Why Do Women Bite Off More Than We Can Chew?

Sorrowing Old Man ('At Eternity's Gate')
by Vincent Van Gogh (1890)

Especially nowadays, women are rocking their way through life, pursuing careers and dreams that were once impossible. We get there through hard work, hard work, and even more hard work. This is certainly no easy feat and with this Joan-of-Arc mentality comes a pressure so dense and dragging, that even the strongest of women wilt like wildflowers. Sometimes, we work so hard to prove ourselves that we don’t even realize the type of toll it may take on our own sense of happiness and personal well-being. Since I’ve definitely felt that invisible, 67-pound weight dangling from my chest from time to time, I’ve chosen to write a little post to show girls certain measures they can take to chop those feelings up like a chef at a Japanese steakhouse, throwing it in the face of their fears and fellow-haters.

This time last year I was writing for my school newspaper and I had just acquired the title of “Staff Writer.” I was more than thrilled about the position, especially because the hard work that I had poured into this objective was finally paying off. It wasn’t until much later in the semester that I started to feel completely on edge every time I walked onto my college campus, literally afraid to look at my cell for possible texts from my mini-employers. Do I need to cover a breaking story? Are there any more edits I need to make on the draft I just sent in? Were my sources okay? What if they don’t like the witty lead of my article? 

On top of this continual self-questioning, you’re receiving emails left and right from people who may have felt “offended” by one of your articles and consistent badgering from students, friends,  and even your own family, all of whom really have no clue what the job of “Staff Writer” really requires. I was taking six classes on top of this responsibility, so I felt as though I was drowning in a heat wave of criticism and never-ending judgement. Even though I definitely enjoyed my experience working for the school newspaper, it wore me rawer than an uncooked potato. 

Now I realize I could’ve prevented these feelings. I wish I had taken a breather for a minute or two to re-evaluate the reasons why I was feeling so stressed out. Girls need to know that it is okay to take sometime off because, at the end of the day, it’s more detrimental to your work in the long run. For me, I started taking my stress out at the gym, trying to work out at least 4-7 times a week, which I still do. Endorphins are a natural way to maintain some feelings of sanity, and you certainly won’t feel as ready to bark at someone when you’re on a healthy high. Also, if you have a boyfriend, please have sex with him. Studies show that couples who have sex regularly experience greater feelings of happiness, ultimately increasing their sense of personal content as well as the quality of work in their varying careers. Whether you believe it or not, it’s true.

In addition to these measures, try eating healthy. I find that when I eat healthier, I feel better about myself. I’m certainly not saying that you shouldn’t treat yourself either, because everyone knows I have a weakness for chocolate, wine, and cheese, but try and create a balance with the food you eat. Also, think about creating a hobby. I love to read, write, listen to music, and watch movies, which all really, really help me cope with the pressures of everyday life. Further, and this is tough for any girl, if you have a friend, boyfriend, or acquaintance in your life who is not completely supportive of your efforts, by criticizing or blaming you for any perceived slight, do not be afraid to let this individual know how you feel. Just be constructive in your approach and tactfully explain how he/she may be hurting you. Trust me, even if you fear their reaction, sticking up for yourself is more refreshing than a peppermint patty’s ice-cold filling.

So I’ve told you how to get rid of these anxiety-infused feelings and even how you can prevent them from occurring again, but, no matter the circumstances, there is so much a girl can do to alleviate this problem, we just need to take the time to figure it out. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone if you need to, like a counselor or parent, because everyone deserves happiness in life, and we should never, ever feel compelled to question that. We are only human, so there is no need to carry a burden on our shoulders heavier than the Grand Canyon and Mt. Everest combined thrown into a bag of the Rocky Mountains, because that is certainly no life to live at all.