Dating Dilemma Pt. II: What Constitutes as Boyfriend Material?

Pepé Le Pew, I'm sure he could certainly
benefit from some of my advice...

Though I’ve never had a real, live boyfriend, my lack of a genuine romantic relationship has given me time to ponder, observe, and question that magic, invisible wall between men and women, especially when it comes to love. I know what girls want and, since I am one, I can give my male readers some serious advice on how to become boyfriend material. Yes, this post is geared towards the guys, but I would absolutely love some input from my female readers as well, because no one knows what we look for in a boyfriend better than us. And, since I have a strict open-door policy when it comes to my blog, I would love feedback from some of my male readers who are looking for, or have found, that special guy in their lives (I’m currently working on dating advice for my gay audience, so I would love as many opinions as possible. Though this particular post is directed more toward a heterosexual audience, I could still use your advice on what makes a guy boyfriend material!) Anyway, especially in my generation, many boys I know have no clue how to approach relationships, so please accept my guidance because, and I say this with all due respect, it’s time to take off your 14-year-old little boy cap and step your game up.

Only toddler pic of me on my computer I could find.
I really wanted to showcase my
Pebbles Flinstone halloween costume, but that pic was
nowhere to be found.
I had a bone in my hair and everything...

Okay, I’m gonna set up a hypothetical situation, it goes as follows: you see a disgustingly sexy girl that you don’t know at a bar, you really want to approach her but you have no idea how to get her attention. Don’t worry, I’m not going to discourage you from speaking to her, but since this is your first interaction with her, please don’t play the asshole who just wants to get some. If you really want to become a boyfriend, you have to give up these behaviors and approach every girl as if they were mere friends, innocent until proven guilty. If you’ve been a player for too long and you’re really making efforts to find that special girl, I have devised a secret test that you can implement when approaching women. Every girl you meet, see, or interact with, especially within the 18-25 year age range, were once little 5 year old girls learning how to ride a bike, playing jumprope on the pavement, and eating cake batter any chance they could (which I still do...). My point is this, when you approach a girl for the first time that you genuinely want to be with, don’t say a word that would be inappropriate for her inner-5-year-old to hear. I’m not saying speak to her like she’s a baby, but make sure you approach her in an incredibly neutral, non-threatening way. If you can’t handle us when we’re just toddlers, then you don’t deserve us at any age, proving that you still have work to do in the boyfriend department.

Okay, now we’re moving past the initial interaction and both of you are going on a date (which you better pay for- and I don’t mean to sound like a gold-digger, because everyone knows I’m not, and I’ll always offer to pay my share of the meal, but it’s such a turn off when guys don’t pay for the meal- especially on the first date). Anyway, if she green-lighted a date, she’s saying it’s okay for you to be less guarded and show her more of who you really are. Her inner-child isn’t there anymore, and it’s okay to crack a few jokes here and there. We love humor, personality, intellect, and interesting conversation- so, if you can provide this on a date, she’ll likely come back for more. Make sure you listen, listen, listen to what she has to say, and this shouldn't be a problem if you really want to be with this girl. 

A huge turn on is a guy who can actually resist temptation. If you’re willing to go to any lengths to get some, you clearly have very poor, low standards. A girl with self-respect will not want to date you, especially if the only girls willing to satisfy you are sleaze balls. If you want a really awesome girlfriend, you cannot have any romantic or physical links to anybody else, she has to be the only girl in your eyes. Also, please don’t settle for girls that make you question whether or not there are real feelings present between you two. If you have to question the way you feel for a girl, it’s more than likely a situation that will go down hill. You will know when the time is right to settle, and you will find someone who is absolutely perfect for you. So break ties sooner rather than later, so you can have your own peace of mind back before you're actually ready to search for the real deal.

Another type of guy I cannot stand is the couch potato. I’m not saying he has to make all the money in the world, because I can totally do that for myself, but I’m just saying it’s important for guys to have passion and drive in their life, no matter their chosen career. So, please, get off your butt and do something.

Reliability, generosity, awareness, loyalty, and the ability to commit are also qualities we look for in guys. Another quality we appreciate is the capability to communicate your true feelings for us. Even if it seems as though the time isn’t truly right, or you have a fear of rejection, what’s the worst that could happen? If there is a girl who is worth it, you will tell her how you feel- even if you have to walk across mountains to do it. You will make sure she knows, so don’t play games because we definitely don’t have time for that. We also like guys who respect us, not pressuring us to get physical sooner than we want to. Even though sex is important in any romantic relationship, it’s nice to know that you don’t want to be with us only for our bodies, especially if you want to become boyfriend material.

Okay, so I think I’ve covered the basics. If there are any qualities or traits of the quintessential boyfriend that I may have left out, please feel free to offer your feedback! Thanks again for reading!

P.S. If you embody all of the aforementioned qualities, all you need to do now is wear deodorant, take showers, find clothes that fit, and brush your teeth/hair and you’ll be well on your way to becoming boyfriend material!! Now go get her!